The recent posting of an experience of mine has triggered a lot of challenges, questions and emotional upset. I have been in a space of questioning my experience and ultimately have come to stand my ground, feeling clear about the overall ''goodness'' of my experience and where I hold it in my heart.
My friend has posted some interesting points and questions:
"I dunno. Framing it as sacred seems a bit of a cop out to me. No matter how sacred you want to call it, when you mess around with casual sex, you are fucking around with your & your partner's oxytocin & trust - and not in a good way. Check out Paul Zak. He was talking about how people with low oxytocin will seek out a lot of unattached sex, in an effort to juice up their own low oxytocin levels. (For ex., people recently out of a relationship.) Just saying..."
I think that science has some interesting interpretations of what love and interrelationship might be. How about the context and the conversations and the connections being developed prior to and around the experience? How does science measure the electrochemical exchange of conversations and experiences occurring before, during and after a sexual experience? Is oxytocin an accurate and full measurement of connection between two people? What exactly is it measuring?
What about the level of coherence between the two hearts involved? (electromagnetic coherence)Having recently completed a relationship, I have been processing it for the last three months; I am clear that I was done processing it and open for new experiences. This allowed me to be in a space where I could open my heart and body/senses to new experience, new intensities of exchange, including intensity of opening to the point of sharing deeply (emotionally and phsically) within a short period of time.
In looking at the language you are using to describe this experience (or anyone's experience, yours included) - "casual sex" - "fucking around" - how do you know the context of the emotional connection established between the two people involved? what is the definition of 'fucking around'? Does is mean that ANY deep sharing of sexuality without history of relationship is subject to the definition and symptoms of beng 'casual' and 'fucking around'?
There are other ways to 'juice up' oxytocin like becoming more affectionate with people in our daily lives or getting a massage or doing self massage.
I appreciate your questions and I feel that this is All wonderful conversation that needs to be brought out-open. It is clear to me that not everyone is in the same understanding and experience about sexuality - sexual expression - intimacy - emotional connection - emotional dependency - relationship - what is okay and what is not okay...
I feel that my root principles are integrity, honesty, open heartedness without judgment. By maintaining an openness and awareness of my intentions, I feel completely capable of sharing a deeply intimate connection with someone, regardless of hiSTORY or guidelines/rules about how long I need to know someone before I share certain aspects of myself with them. I think that any relationship between two beings requires COMMUNICATION and CLARITY.
All good flow... and keeping in mind - the true reason for this journey through humanness - transformation and expansion of experience and relationality;
And of course - FUSION :
". . . . the actual movement to this larger, more inclusive self, is ultimately not achieved through personal effort. There is, to be sure, a significant effort that must be made, but the effort is not so much in trying to change ourselves or transform ourselves but in actually learning to become aware or alert to the very nature of how our consciousness operates within the framework of the separate self. True transformation is really the activity of a deeper intelligence that is already forever available to all of us.It becomes a matter then of not so much trying to change, but understanding how we run away from the depths of ourselves, how we try to avoid the deep core level of feeling that links us to what I call fundamental relationship, the relationship of self, other and the Divine. Thus self transformation actually flows from what we already are as we gradually understand the mechanisms and strategies by which we continue to avoid relationship to our deeper self. As we cease to energize these various strategies, not so much out of a desire to be change but out of a surrendering to the almost hopeless contradiction between effort and result (that is, the greater our efforts the more they create the separate self that is itself the obstacle to fundamental transformation), what then ensues emerges of itself out of the very intelligence of life. Just as there is no conscious effort to go from conception to infancy, and no real conscious effort to go from infancy to childhood, the actual movement from a limited ego into an individual of larger consciousness is also given by life when we stop obstructing it. It is the peculiar beauty of true transformation that what we are being carried toward is not some exalted ego, not some ‘supremely other’ individual with paranormal powers, or a technological utopia secured by our intellects, but toward what we really are. The goal and end point of transformation is to become a human being, and there is no end to the realization of our humanness. As long as we regard the transformational journey as a process of transcendence, of stepping above and beyond the limits of human life, then we've only understood half the true journey. The other half of the journey is the deepening embodiment of this more complete level of consciousness within ourselves, our families, our communities, our cultures. " -Richard Moss
"fusion - ‘We live in a world of polarity: day and night, man and woman, positive and negative. Light and darkness need each other. They are a balance. Just now the dark side is very strong, and very clear about what they want. They have their vision and their priorities clearly held, and also their hierarchy. They are working in many ways so that we will be unable to connect with the spiral Fifth World in 2012. On the light side everyone thinks they are the most important, that their own understandings, or their group’s understandings, are the key. There’s a diversity of cultures and opinions, so there is competition, diffusion, and no single focus.’ As Mr. Barrios sees it, the dark side works to block fusion through denial and materialism. It also works to destroy those who are working with the light to get the Earth to a higher level. They like the energy of the old, declining Fourth World, the materialism. They do not want it to change. They do not want fusion. They want to stay at this level, and are afraid of the next level. The dark power of the declining Fourth World cannot be destroyed or overpowered. It’s too strong and clear for that, and that is the wrong strategy. The dark can only be transformed when confronted with simplicity and open-heartedness. This is what leads to fusion, a key concept for the World of the Fifth Sun. Mr. Barrios said the emerging era of the Fifth Sun will call attention to a much-overlooked element. Whereas the four traditional elements of earth, air, fire and water have dominated various epochs in the past, there will be a fifth element to reckon with in the time of the Fifth Sun: ether. ‘Within the context of ether there can be a fusion of the polarities,’ Mr. Barrios said. ‘No more darkness or light in the people, but an uplifted fusion. But right now the realm of darkness is not interested in this. They are organized to block it. They seek to unbalance the Earth and its environment so we will be unready for the alignment in 2012. We need to work together for peace, and balance with the other side. We need to take care of the Earth that feeds and shelters us. We need to put our entire mind and heart into pursuing unity and fusion now, to confront the other side and preserve life." http://www.chiron-communications.com/communique%207-10.html
Michael
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